A Series Of Not So Unfortunate Events
by AuroraSilverthorne
Summary: The Baudelaire children lose their parents only to find themselves in the care of not one but three guardians. An AU based on both the books and movie where Olaf is a good guy and teams up with Uncle Monty and Aunt Josephine to raise Violet, Klaus and Sunny. Rated M for language and sexual content in later chapters.


Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! All of the characters belong to Lemony Snicket. I only did this for fun and because I thought Uncle Monty and Aunt Josephine would make a cute couple. Please read and review. Comments are always welcome. Enjoy!

A Series Of Not So Unfortunate Events

Chapter One: The Not So Bad Beginning

Empty. Frightened. Alone. These were just a few of the feelings Violent, Klaus and Sunny couldn't escape from after their patents' death. Mr. Poe kept assuring them everything would be fine, that they had plenty of relatives ready and willing to take them in, though three didn't seem like much in the Baudelaire children's opinion.

The funeral was simple yet elegant with fifty or so guests all dressed in various shades of black. They didn't recognize any of their parents' so-called friends. However, there were three that stood out from the rest, each unbelievably corky in their own way.

Two were men, one tall and thin with glassy eyes and a unibrow, the other short and brawny with brown eyes and reddish-grey hair that was constantly standing on end. The woman was thin and skittish with blue eyes, long golden blonde hair she'd pulled into a bun and a black Victorian style dress with Piscine glasses perched atop her nose.

"Children," Mr. Poe said, gesturing to the skinny pale man. "This is Count Olaf.". He went on to introduce the brown eyed man as "Dr. Montgomery Montgomery" and the woman as "Ms. Josephine Anwhistle."

"Just call me, Uncle Monty," Dr. Montgomery said, giving each child a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"Aunt Josephine will do just fine, or Josie, Jo...whichever you prefer," the timid woman twittered, giving each of the Baudelaires a quick hug before shying away.

"Name's Olaf," the count declared proudly as he shook each of their hands, "but you can call me Uncle Olaf or just Olly if you want."

"Is she always like that?" Violet asked, pointing at Aunt Josephine when Olaf shook her hand.

"I'm afraid so," Uncle Monty answered, sparing the woman a sad sympathetic glance.

"Her husband, Ike, died about a year ago," Olaf whispered non too softly, leaning toward the Baudelaire children with a hand cupped over his mouth conspiringly. "She saw the whole thing, poor girl. It was just terrible, very traumatizing. Eaten by Lachrymose leeches!"

"Leeches!" Aunt Josephine screeched, clutching Uncle Monty's shirt collar. She clung to him like a second skin sobbing hysterically while he did his best to console her.

Her cries seemed to upset Sunny who started wailing and wouldn't stop until Aunt Josephine ceased her own tears.

"It's alright Josie," Uncle Monty coaxed, rubbing her back and shoulders to soothe her trembling body. "There are no leeches here. Olly was only telling the children of Ike and the circumstances of his passing, that's all. No need to fear."

"Oh Ike," Aunt Josephine sniffled, "My poor sweet Ike. If only he'd waited another fifteen minutes before going into the water."

"Ever since his death she's been afraid of absolutely everything," Olaf explained obviously saddened by his friend's current emotional state. "It took all we had just to get her out here. She rarely ever leaves her house anymore."

"But that's all going to change, isn't it Josie," Monty said, tucking her under his shoulder. "Now that we have the children with us."

"Yes," Josephine replied, offering the Baudelaires a small shaky smile. "Oh, Violet, you look so much like your mother. And Klaus, so handsome. You definitely have your father's looks."

"And his smarts too I bet," Olaf added.

Sunny gave a rather loud gurgle as if to say "What about me!"

"Oh, you little angel." Josephine seemed to forget all about her fears as she scooped the infant up out of its older sister's arms. "You're absolutely perfect," she cooed, cradling the babe against her bosom. Sunny, much to her siblings' surprise, snuggled up to the older woman content to let her new aunt fawn over her.

"We do need to discuss which of you will be taking legal guardianship of the Baudelaire children," Mr. Poe reminded them rather impatiently.

"That shouldn't take long at all," Uncle Monty told him, "because we've agreed to share custody."

Mr. Poe frowned. "The three of you? That seems highly irrational."

"No," Olaf corrected, "Highly irrational pertains to the endless list of fears our dear Josephine has acquired this past year."

"If it helps I can explain," Monty offered.

"Please do," Mr. Poe mumbled.

"I will care for the children on Mondays and Tuesdays," Monty began, " Olaf will have them Wednesdays and Thursdays while our dearest Josephine shall keep them Friday through Sunday."

"A bit hectic, wouldn't you say?" Poe asked unconvinced.

"Not particularly," Josephine remarked, "The schools we've chosen for them are an equal distance between our houses. They'll be able to walk or ride depending on the weather."

"There's a library, café. Not to mention several boutiques and restaurants," Olaf added.

"The children will be well looked after I assure you," Uncle Monty finished.

"So be it," Mr. Poe decided, giving a dismissive wave of his hand. "I'll leave you to it then. Good luck children." He turned to Uncle Monty who seemed to be the unnamed leader of the group. "We'll be checking in now and then."

" Of course." Monty nodded. " Wouldn't expect anything less, would we children?"

"No," Violet agreed.

"I guess not." Klaus murmured.

Sunny was too preoccupied with tugging a stray strand of Aunt Josephine's hair to reply. Rather than chastise the baby, the woman took the child's actions with a grain of salt, wincing everytime the infant yanked the thin golden tresses.


End file.
